I quit the slums (part 2)


After writing the 1st part and posting , I honestly did not know where the second part will come from ,I had no clue about what to write ,because all I was feeling when writing the 1st part was quiet desperation on how to get out of the slums and to be permanently banned from those mindsets that stand like mountains in my path.

Then the comments started rolling in one after the other , the red light on my phone will constantly alert me of someone’s contribution to the slum situation . As I eagerly waited for each comment, I, underneath my breath pray  to God that someone will be touched , someone’s heart will be convicted , that God will be glorified in my life and in the lives of my contributors.

Then a particular comment  casually rolled in , Jaycee replied ,but not in the usual way , she sent in the Word and it shook my very existence , surging great hope within me that am not just a lonely traveler marooned on an isolated  island but that inside of the slums there is Someone right there with me. What she sent knocked out my usual thinking that God can’t rescue me from the slums easily , I was wrong because He is with me , urging , cheering , comforting , and loving me out of those slums.

The scripture, Jaycee sent was Ezekiel 16:6-14, since she sent it , I have been looking around for various Bible translations to better explain this wonderful revelation , this morning, as I decided to write again , I finally settled for the Youth Bible Contemporary English version , I was amazed to see how much God has gone and how far he is still ready to go to save me , here is the scripture.

‘’ I saw you lying there , rolling around in your own blood and I couldn’t let you die. I took care of you , like someone  caring for a tender ,young plant. You grew up to be a beautiful young woman with perfect breasts and long hair, but you were still naked . When I saw you again, you were old enough to have sex. So I covered your naked body with My own robe, then I solemnly promised and entered into a covenant  with you, says the Lord God and you became mine. Then I bathed you with water and washed off  your blood from you and anointed you with oil’’.

This amazes me , how tender , loving , compassionate my God is , he’s not standing outside of the slums waiting for my exit , He is right inside looking for as many as will turn to Him even in their pains and disillusionment. What a great message this is , that no matter how far we’ve gone in sins , God is always able to bring us out. He is the changer of destiny , the rewriter of history , the author and the finisher of my faith , without Him I don’t exist. I don’t want a life without Him in it, I don’t want a home that He is not heading. This day , with my hands around His neck , God is carrying me out of the slums , looking from His shoulders, I saw the devil and cohorts gnashing because they’ve lost me forever.

I quit the slums (part 1)


Before I start writing this , I will want to beg for indulgence from my sister, my senior friend and my mentor , Buky Ojelabi as I am going to use her last post ‘Leaving behind comfort zones’ as a reference point.

Few days ago before Sister Buky posted her new note , she sent a copy to me to edit and to professionally advise on , though I wasn’t able to finally edit as I was no where I could use the Ms office , I read it and immediately I saw ‘’comfort zones’’ , I mentally laughed ,knowing that this is me in a different way.

For me , leaving my past is as stressful  and painful like a cow wrestling with labour pains , leaving my past which unfortunately is my comfort zone is what I live for everyday , as I can’t wait to disassociate myself  from those mistakes that boldly stare me in the face anytime I want to, in my desperate bid to get away , I have often prayed for ‘Amnesia’ so at least I can forget. But like the saying ‘’if wishes are horses , beggars will ride’’, I can only wish that the past will vanish and I will forget , I can’t , the sting can only be taken away.

My comfort zones were all along refuse sites ,that I have been  terribly used to , they are relationships that are toxic that I have become addicted to , they are mindsets that have built talons and claws inside my psyche and become strongholds, comfort zones are the valleys of my dry bones.

When Buky sent that note and I saw her reference to London as her comfort zone where she had fond memories , mine is not like that , I have always found it rather easy to say goodbye to the good stuff  that come my way, it is the garbage I keep struggling with like a wet fish on a dry land.

As a media person , I get to see lots of things that confuse and surprise me , one of the news in my office is the report of people that live in a particular slum in Lagos(Nigeria), the slum is partially one big refuse site , where people live in , shacks have been  built over the years on this settlement. People live, cook and have kids  in this slum, known as home to them, when they were asked if they will like to relocate to a safer and cleaner  environment , they out rightly refused claiming that the slum has become a home to them as they can’t imagine life without the filth.

As I write this piece, there is a similarity between me and these slum settlers, but unlike them, I can’t wait to bolt out from this life sucking circumstances. As a single lady of considerable age and with a figure so petite , I often wondered why I am yet to have a man in my life , several times  I have put myself on a hot seat just to know what exactly is the issue , people that are concerned about my single status have often planned blind dates for me , but they don’t just work because am not allowing it to. Most times I keep seeing myself as the person that is not good enough to have an individual to devote all the love on , I have been used to comfort zones of relationships where  I have  to work like a jackal in  order to make the relationship see the light of the day . I get scared and sweaty whenever I have a young man fawning over me , seeking my attention , a great part of me screams at me to run as it can’t be real , while in the toxic relationships , I am the chief planner , chief talker , chief giver ,like mother bee trying to always win love.

Anytime I talk to my father about it ,and I cry endlessly about how unfair things are to me , the only answer I receive from the Holy Spirit is ‘ ‘Why can’t you accept love , if you are still finding hard to receive love  from humans you can see, how will receive the ultimate love from God you can’t see’’. As I heard this ,this morning , tears splatter down my face because I don’t know why am stuck on this refuse site ,looking for more dirt to eat while the only One that can save me stands near me beckoning me to come out.