Who am I?

Months ago, I received an award for being versatile in my blog , and I was expected to put up 10 things about me that people don’t necessarily know about me . I must confess I was thrilled and grateful to fellow bloggers that nominated me but I held back because I did not in a whole way know myself. I asked within my mind , why will I put up a list on the blog when I am not sure it is me.

If you are like me , have you ever wondered what you are doing on earth , why did you come with a particular gender, is there more to life than getting married, having babies , going to school , having all the money and working like a jackal? These are questions that I have in my mind all the time even when I apparently look like someone who does not have a care in my life,on a light note, I have that look.

As  human beings , I  realise we are complex with lots of drama hidden in us by God , to know ourselves , psychologists won’t ever help, so don’t waste your money and time being trapped behind the chair . I have discovered that we won’t ever know really ourselves until we have an encounter with God.

That brings me to the next question , How do we really become sure that God is with us? This will shock you because it does not qualify as a question to you but it does to me. Doubts fill me many times, I still battle time after time with my flesh and I make decisions based on my desires and feel too much. Especially as a woman , I must say I qualify as a ‘’feeler’’ which is not a strong point at all.

To walk with God is to throw into the waste bin all the feeling issues because to love God equals to being a person of faith. Weeks ago, when surfing the net , I read a comment of Oprah Winfrey on her spirituality , she said ‘’the reason why Christianity did not work for her because she needs a feeling thing rather than the believing thing’’. I mentally cringed when I read this because if all my life can be summarised in a feeling moment , then it doesn’t make sense.

To know myself truly is to believe that there is a Higher Source that is so bigger than me , it is to know that my existence is totally hinged on God , for without Him I don’t make a meaning , am just a cheap lump of clay balancing ecosystem. Faith is knowing that everything in this   world is simply beyond us , and to live a life of purpose is to always run into Jesus Christ who is ‘’THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE’’

I have sadly watched loved ones slip into eternity , I have heard shocking news of how people lose their lives to a simple miscalculation of the drivers, doctors , I have cried in anger as  aunties die in their prime , I have lived in vacuums for days wondering why am on earth. I have sat for days empty right inside church , just hoping to be consoled .

That is where faith comes in , it is believing in those things that can not be seen , it is being joyous when I don’t have a dime in my pocket.

This Easter , faith is absolutely knowing that over 2000 years ago , God came in form of man to redeem us from sins and on the cross He(Jesus Christ) said ‘’It’s finished’’. In Him I live , move and have my being , so from now I can boldly say I know who I am because I know Jesus Christ. My friends , don’t be scared when life throws us heavy yokes , remember that Jesus has risen.

Happy Easter.

I had to be pierced

Months ago I went to get myself pierced, I have always had this desire to get a second ear hole , how I just love the idea of having two small earrings adorn each of   my cute ears , but I have been held back by a lot of reasons .Firstly by my parents , my dad made it very known to us(girls)in his home  when we were growing up about his aversion for jewellery of whosoever kind . My loving daddy is an adherent believer of natural beauty, he often questioned us (my sisters and I} about our unwavering love for things of this world, in his words ‘tolulope, can’t you just do without all these nonsense you put on your body, don’t you know you are more beautiful without all these eye pencils, big earrings , lip-gloss that looks like palm oil on your lips’.

Even though I have always had this innate desire to wear two earrings on each ear , I dare not try it under my father’s roof , I watch with envy other girls whose parents were lenient in this aspect . Years has various ways of softening people and obviously my daddy is not left out of this theory , he has tremendously become flexible when it comes to understanding his female children and their fashion needs , so in my home now , it’s no longer a crime to wear trousers , to have 16 inches hair  on , to pierce the second ear hole , to enjoy the flawless beauty MAC, SLEEK and MARK KAY offers.

So months ago , having thought about it over and over  , I went straight to the saloon to get a new and second ear holes . When I got there , there was a lot of excitement in me , a picture of how I will look was stuck in my mind , I could literally see it with my naked eyes. Amidst all these excitement I clearly forgot something , something that is unavoidably compulsory before I could be a proud owner of new  ear holes , I forgot the pain that comes with it , the lady that was to help me prepared me saying ‘ aunty , it’s so painful , will you be able to bear it , I just got myself pierced too and it has really been painful’.

When she said this, a fear arose within me, I momentarily thought of abandoning the whole idea of piercing, but what stopped the thought was the pleasure of belonging to the clique of ‘two ear hole holders’, what made me to be prepared , was the joy I will have after the pain , the sheer joy of having those two ear rings on each of my cute ears kept me in that chair .

So even though I was really scared of the pain to come, I knew it will be worth it , lo and behold, she started the piercing and all I could remember was my yelling. The pain of the earring pulling through my skin brought tears to my eyes , I started screaming for her to stop , she told me  to sit still for it will soon be over , the more she said this the more pain grew worse . Through this pain , I suddenly realized another dimension of Jesus’ love for me , I clearly saw Him on that tree as He put His life down  for the glory that will be revealed in the generations to come. Don’t you ever think that it was a pleasurable thing for Jesus to be pierced in all parts of His body as He laid down His Life for humanity? What I experienced in the saloon as I pierce my ears is nothing compared to the pain Jesus bore for us on the cross.

God’s love is unexplainable and incomprehensible, His love for me is so deep that to an intellectual, it looks foolish. He gave His only begotten Son for  us , not only was Jesus homeless when He was on earth , He was killed for the sins of the world.

Jesus went all through the pain , humbly submitted Himself to derision , to spite and of course to all the piercings in His hands , feet and to His head , can you imagine that pain , accompanied with these was the grievous burden of the world’s sin . Will it not be wise of us to live worthy of His calling and do away with those sins that won’t let us go.