Stopping the circle


Weeks ago I went for an official meeting in one of the well known hotels in Lagos, as I prepared to take an eye tour of the lodge and people as well, I made an unexpected eye contact with a familiar face. The face happened to belong to one of my male senior friends; I was so excited to see one face I knew in the mammoth of faces that surrounded me.  He was equally happy to meet me as he quickly abandoned the idea of sleeping in his suite upstairs; as we began to catch up on old gist, he suddenly looked into my eyes and asked me, “Tolulope, what is happening to Rahab Memoirs, I have not been seeing your posts, are you alright.”

When I heard him say this, shame and pain made a mixture in my gut, tears smarted on my eyelids, making me remember what made me remember my dreams. Struggling to wade my way through, I stammered up many excuses , why I have not been true to my dreams, why I have allowed myself to be drawn in the pit of emptiness, why I have not found time to ask God the next step in my career, why I have allowed money to be my idol.

In my heart I was expecting my friend to be sympathetic to my woes, unfortunately for me, he bluntly told me, “Tolu, if you have passion for something, you don’t let go, even in the face of pains and trials. Tolu, please stay true to your dreams and passion that is what will make you stand out.”

Over the last months, I have bowed down severally to idols and not to God, I have allowed strange companions including ingratitude, pride, laziness to be my bed fellows. I complain all day long about unfair life and people are to me , I have gotten in contact  with my ridiculous sensitive nature, taking offense to everything people say.

As I write this, I know that I don’t want to walk this road again, I don’t want to be that woman that is pitied every day, I don’t want to be the woman that cries at any sight of trouble, I don’t want to be that money-hungry individual that am fast becoming, I don’t want to be that lady that expects too much from people.

 In three weeks time, I will be walking down the aisle  with the love of my life , OLUWASEYIFUNMI, and God knows I want to be a better person , I want to seek Him in every way, I want to be a woman after God’s own heart. I want to stay true to my dream which is writing and totally for now forget about money or material things.

Friends, this day I invite you again on the renewal of my vows to writing and blogging, I ask for divine grace from God as I continue to write truly from the heart and even extend it to fiction because that is my dream.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. aderemi awe
    Nov 09, 2011 @ 10:53:05

    Tolu, you are an overcomer already. I receive for you, from heaven on high, strength and the grace to pull through. Like that friend of yours pointed out to you, don’t let go of your passion, no matter what. If only you knew how much of a blessing your writings and bloggings had been to some of us.

    As touching your upcoming wedding, it shall be glorious, and God will take all the glory in Jesus name, amen. God bless ma!

    Reply

  2. FlourishingPillar
    Nov 09, 2011 @ 15:33:16

    I love you + Your writing. you kinda reflect my thoughts. I felt like this just recently till I heard a message from the series Exchange is no Robbery. Like Eve, I want my own independence, I want to prove I am worth something, I mean enough has been done for me already but I’ve come to realise that on my own I can do nothing and I mean absolutely nothing, I need God’s amazing power, mercy and grace to see me through. I just got to totally rely on him for EVERYTHING.
    I pray just as I have come out victorious from my experience, you will also!
    I pray your wedding and marriage will be a complete success! Totally perfect and complete! God will see you through. AMEN! Keep flying on the two wings(mercy and grace) of the great eagle Rev 12:14
    GOD BLESS YOU!
    P.S Did I mention I loved your writing?

    Reply

  3. Buky of Bukville
    Nov 09, 2011 @ 15:35:08

    Tolu, Congratulations on your forth coming wedding. I pray that the Lord will keep you both together in good health forever. Commit everything in God’s hand and He will do that which no man can do.

    Dont be too hard on yourself. With a wedding round the corner it is clear why you wont have time for blogging.Your talent is a gift from God.

    I cant wait to see pictures, you are going to be a beautiful brides. My regards to Seyi.

    Reply

    • Tolu
      Nov 10, 2011 @ 16:08:31

      Sister mi, am so relieved and happy that am finally back after several months, thank you for always being there in your prayers.

      Reply

  4. Bomi
    Nov 10, 2011 @ 10:13:39

    Ditto to all the comments so far! What more can I say? May you always draw strength, comfort and peace from God…May he always be your source!

    CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming wedding! Oluwa a mojo duro o, Oluwa a seyin lore ara yin – always! Amen! Congratulations, wish you all the very best….May God be the head, center, and the driving force your home! Amen!

    Much love..

    Reply

  5. lovely me
    Nov 10, 2011 @ 16:17:54

    God, We look up to you, help our insufficiencies, uphold us, strengthen us, give us the grace to pull through this safely and victoriously. You are our only help and I am confident you ll not leave us alone.

    God bless you, God bless your Husband, God bless your marriage, God bless your home.

    Much love dear sis.

    Reply

  6. VIVIAN AKANMU
    Nov 11, 2011 @ 01:18:30

    Tolu,congratulations on your forthcoming wedding,am so happy for you and i pray the good Lord will make that day a glorious one for you IJN Amen !

    Reply

  7. Jaycee (E.A)
    Nov 15, 2011 @ 17:35:51

    CONGRATULATIONS Tolu on your wedding, wow. May God bless you and grant you your heart’s desires…however the truth is, when you have faith, even as tiny as a mustard seed, and you believe that your Father has granted you your desires (if they are according to His will), they are already done. Just believe. Faith is the activation of things which have already happened.

    Reply

  8. shanday
    Nov 27, 2011 @ 23:48:19

    Hi Tolu,
    Glad you have rekindled ur blogging passion.
    The thing i love most about you is your sincerity.
    You are very real and true to yourself.
    May you never lose track of the things of God. Amen

    Reply

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