Times are changing, people are changing too and sometimes it scares me because someone I seem to know well today might have changed tomorrow. Times like people seem to have a dynamic ability to change colors like the chameleon, no amount of whining and refusal to accept the truth will make it yield to me.
Before I go ahead and whine about unfair people have been to me, I am compelled to adhere to this saying, “healer, heal thyself’’. Like one of the earlier posts on the blog , the speck in my eye is big enough to burn a pot of water. While writing this piece, I came to a sudden realization that I have changed a lot over the years, I have bowed to the maturity that age brings to my doorstep. A lot of people who knew me when I was a ‘yes woman’ are all shocked at the self-absorbed , confident and sometimes aloof individual that call herself Tolulope, while to some they see me as an embodiment of goodness .
While I will not blame the former category of people for being shocked at the person I have become, I feel it as a responsibility to them that though I have changed in the way I relate and talk , it is not a surprise at all because I am human , and for crying at loud, humans change, it is only God that doesn’t and He will never. For years I have stretched myself to please people, I have denied myself the pleasure of discovering myself because I wanted a category of human beings to perceive me as ‘miss goody-goody’. I have allowed myself to be suppressed in the face of truth because I felt “it is better to keep quiet at all times’’, I have laughed always because it is the right thing to do.
Where I am now, I want to know the difference between stupidity and humility, I will always want to choose humility, for it is a virtue to be coveted by all but I really need the difference between these two. Is it okay for one to be quiet when one is being bullied by someone who thinks that age is all that matters in this world ? , when is it proper to speak up and refuse to be downtrodden even when one is being threatened by their misquotes of the Scripture? Is it scriptural for people to maltreat others all in the name of helping them? These are the questions that go through my mind because I don’t want to be known as the ‘miss goody-goody’ again , when I leave this world , I will want to be referred to as a God fearing , honest woman that spoke the truth bluntly in the face of tyranny.
Like I wrote earlier, I am a big fan of humility, being humble attracts a lot into one’s life , it makes favour your best friend and grace, the sibling that share your bed . But excuse me, being humble is not synonymous to being stupid, and for at least a month now I have boldly decided to stop being stupid because I have been for a long time on earth, it is time to discover myself through God’s perspective, it is time to refuse to be treated like ‘shit’ by people that think they are better than me in a way.
For people that think are better than me, I don’t care because I am not in any competition with them, my goal is to be all that God has outlined for me, my desire is to be that woman that loves and fears God, it is not to see you wear the next designed Gucci because honestly I don’t care if you do, I have a lot on my mind that clearly doesn’t include you.
For people that are still waiting for people to love them at all cost, I am sorry to announce to you that, it might never happen but I know of Someone who has vowed to love you forever, He is the creator of the world, the restorer of destiny, rewriter of history and changer of destiny, His name is God, His son’s is Jesus Christ. I don’t have be a nice person as long as I am on the right page with God .