I stop being stupid

Times are changing, people are changing too and sometimes it scares me because someone I seem to know well today might have changed tomorrow. Times like people seem to have a dynamic ability to change colors like the chameleon, no amount of whining and refusal to accept the truth will make it yield to me.

Before I go ahead and whine about unfair people have been to me, I am compelled to adhere to this saying, “healer, heal thyself’’. Like one of the earlier posts on the blog , the speck in my eye is big enough to burn a pot of water. While writing this piece, I came to a sudden realization that I have changed a lot over the years, I have bowed to the maturity that age brings to my doorstep. A lot of people who knew me when I was a ‘yes woman’ are all  shocked  at the self-absorbed , confident and sometimes aloof individual that call herself Tolulope, while to some they see me as an embodiment of goodness .

While I will not blame the former category of people for being shocked at the person I have become, I feel it as a responsibility to them that though I have changed in the way I relate and talk , it is not a surprise at all because I am human , and for crying at loud, humans change, it is only God that doesn’t and He will never. For years I have stretched myself to please people, I have denied myself the pleasure of discovering myself because I wanted a category of human beings to perceive me as ‘miss goody-goody’. I have allowed myself to be suppressed in the face of truth because I felt “it is better to keep quiet at all times’’,  I have laughed always because it is the right thing to do.

Where I am now, I want to know the difference between stupidity and humility, I will always want to choose humility, for it is a virtue to be coveted by all but I really need the difference between these two. Is it okay for one to be quiet when one is being bullied by  someone who thinks that age is all that matters in this world ? , when is it proper to speak up and refuse to be downtrodden even when one is being threatened by their misquotes of the Scripture? Is it scriptural for people to maltreat others all in the name of helping them? These are the questions that go through my mind because I don’t want to be known as  the ‘miss goody-goody’ again , when I leave this world , I will want to be referred to as a God fearing , honest woman that spoke the truth bluntly in the face of tyranny.

Like I wrote earlier, I am a big fan of humility, being humble attracts a lot into one’s life , it makes favour your best friend and grace, the sibling that share your bed . But excuse me, being humble is not synonymous to being stupid, and for at least a month now I have boldly decided to stop being stupid because I have been for a long time on earth, it is time to discover myself through God’s perspective, it is time to refuse to be treated like ‘shit’ by people that think they are better than me in a way.

For people that think are better than me, I don’t care because I am not in any competition with them, my goal is to be all that God has outlined for me, my desire is to be that woman that loves and fears God, it is not to see you wear the next designed Gucci because honestly I don’t care if you do, I have a lot on my mind that clearly doesn’t include you.

For people that are still waiting for people to love them at all cost, I am sorry to announce to you that, it might never happen but I know of Someone who has vowed to love you forever, He is the creator of the world, the restorer of destiny, rewriter of history and changer of destiny, His name is God, His son’s is Jesus Christ. I don’t have be a nice person as long as I am on the right page with God .

14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. oghale eledu
    Jun 02, 2011 @ 19:17:02

    There is a difference indeed!keep up the good work indeed!


  2. seyi akano
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 00:45:42

    Time and again I’ve tried to please people to try to look like the good guy,with the trimmest of cuts,the coolest of smiles,the starchedst of shirts and the best of Gadgets,but all this has always ended in futility,with the more I tried being the more I was frustrated,all I need now is God’s wisdom so that I don’t have to spend the money that I don’t have to buy the things I don’t need,to please the people that I don’t love,thereby mortgaging the Joy the Father gives.Wisdom Lord!!! Tolu thanks for this great piece,it’s sincere enough to hit my heart.


    • Tolu
      Jun 03, 2011 @ 16:33:26

      Seyi, I am glad you were blessed, trying so hard to please people won’t ever work , no matter how hard we try, so we had at better stop.


  3. anoda phase
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 02:26:27

    Nice one Tolu…humility should certainly not be mistaken for stupidity…and as for people who bully/try to surpress others, I think it’s an inferiority complex…speak up for yourself whenever you need to…feel free to ask the Holy Spirit for help as well…Cheers.


  4. Umo
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 14:49:06

    as far as i am concerned,being nice is a lie and trying to please everyone is an illusion; it is just like a donkey dragging a cart, with its owner dangling a carrot just in front of the donkey’s nose. The donkey’s owner may be going where he wants to but the donkey is chasing an illusion. The people whose approval you constantly seek, may be people that care about you, they may be more interested in themselves and may put their own desires ahead of yours.

    The only constant thing is change if it is a positive change, then i love to call it metamorphorsis……………….
    nice piece as always….


  5. maidofheart
    Jun 06, 2011 @ 11:54:36


    It’s the truth but some of us have had to learn it the hard way. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you become a doormat or are liked by everyone or translates to humility. The strength of character is when we can say NO without feeling guilty, when we can stand on God’s instructions without feeling we have to carry everyone along or when we accept not everyone will like us so we should quit trying to be liked and accepted by everyone.

    There’s a level we cannot get to in God if we have not learned to overlook people’s perception of us. My personal motto is ‘What does God think about me.’

    I love your musing here, Tolu. Thank you for sharing.


    • Tolu
      Jun 14, 2011 @ 10:07:44

      My sister, thank you for this, i wrote this piece in anger because I was just tired of some people treating me like a doormat.


  6. Lara Daniels
    Jun 14, 2011 @ 06:27:18

    Tolu, one of the things I love about you is that you are so genuine in your posts…sooo sweet and very transparent. I can soooo relate to the questions, the thoughts that are going through your mind as you ponder on the difference between Humility and Stupidity. Jesus was humble, but he wasn’t stupid. He was a man who spoke his piece with clarity and truth; he called a spade a spade, yet would still submit to authority, for example, the paying of taxes to Ceaser. I think there’s a lot to learn from that. God’s children are called to humility, not stupidity. We are called to be as gentle as doves but as clever as foxes. I pray for God to continue to teach you the difference…to teach you how to walk that fine line.


    • Tolu
      Jun 14, 2011 @ 10:13:44

      I am so humbled by this description, God bless you. Our perfect example is Jesus Christ, we must look to Him everyday through His Word. thank you ma.


  7. SB
    Jun 28, 2011 @ 20:28:38

    Great piece. You’re touching generations. Keep up the good work my dear.


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