Who am I?

Months ago, I received an award for being versatile in my blog , and I was expected to put up 10 things about me that people don’t necessarily know about me . I must confess I was thrilled and grateful to fellow bloggers that nominated me but I held back because I did not in a whole way know myself. I asked within my mind , why will I put up a list on the blog when I am not sure it is me.

If you are like me , have you ever wondered what you are doing on earth , why did you come with a particular gender, is there more to life than getting married, having babies , going to school , having all the money and working like a jackal? These are questions that I have in my mind all the time even when I apparently look like someone who does not have a care in my life,on a light note, I have that look.

As  human beings , I  realise we are complex with lots of drama hidden in us by God , to know ourselves , psychologists won’t ever help, so don’t waste your money and time being trapped behind the chair . I have discovered that we won’t ever know really ourselves until we have an encounter with God.

That brings me to the next question , How do we really become sure that God is with us? This will shock you because it does not qualify as a question to you but it does to me. Doubts fill me many times, I still battle time after time with my flesh and I make decisions based on my desires and feel too much. Especially as a woman , I must say I qualify as a ‘’feeler’’ which is not a strong point at all.

To walk with God is to throw into the waste bin all the feeling issues because to love God equals to being a person of faith. Weeks ago, when surfing the net , I read a comment of Oprah Winfrey on her spirituality , she said ‘’the reason why Christianity did not work for her because she needs a feeling thing rather than the believing thing’’. I mentally cringed when I read this because if all my life can be summarised in a feeling moment , then it doesn’t make sense.

To know myself truly is to believe that there is a Higher Source that is so bigger than me , it is to know that my existence is totally hinged on God , for without Him I don’t make a meaning , am just a cheap lump of clay balancing ecosystem. Faith is knowing that everything in this   world is simply beyond us , and to live a life of purpose is to always run into Jesus Christ who is ‘’THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE’’

I have sadly watched loved ones slip into eternity , I have heard shocking news of how people lose their lives to a simple miscalculation of the drivers, doctors , I have cried in anger as  aunties die in their prime , I have lived in vacuums for days wondering why am on earth. I have sat for days empty right inside church , just hoping to be consoled .

That is where faith comes in , it is believing in those things that can not be seen , it is being joyous when I don’t have a dime in my pocket.

This Easter , faith is absolutely knowing that over 2000 years ago , God came in form of man to redeem us from sins and on the cross He(Jesus Christ) said ‘’It’s finished’’. In Him I live , move and have my being , so from now I can boldly say I know who I am because I know Jesus Christ. My friends , don’t be scared when life throws us heavy yokes , remember that Jesus has risen.

Happy Easter.

14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LD
    Apr 18, 2011 @ 22:15:57

    I’m glad you mentioned Faith. Without faith, it’s not possible to please God. That said, one of the books that changed my life (forever) was “The purpose driven life”. And you are right – our lives are more than the tasks we perform; like Tolu of Tolulope’s musings said, life is all about loving others. If we perform all our tasks and are still shallow people who are devoid of Love, we cheat ourselves from living life to the fullest. As par feelings, there’s nothing wrong with being a ‘feeler’. God created our senses…so he is a ‘sensual’ God as well. Unfortunately, our senses are terribly flawed because there’s a sixth sense – the sense of faith – which is damaged in Man, but can be rebuilt through studying God’s word. Together with this sixth sense, and the rest of our five senses – hearing, tasting, seeing, feeling and smelling – we can become all of what he wants us to be. Have a glorious Easter, Tolu.


    • Tolu
      Apr 19, 2011 @ 18:02:43

      Sister mi , God is everything good about me , Him out of my life means meaninglessness. Happy Easter, may we be strengthened everyday


    Apr 19, 2011 @ 09:04:36

    The journey of re -discovery oneself is one that every human must embark on. The message that Easter preaches is one that is still so very germane to us as human, even as it was over 2, 000 years ago when the greatest landmarking event in the histroy of mankind took place.
    Tolulope, may your light/star never grow dim, amen.


  3. Buky of Bukville
    Apr 19, 2011 @ 13:50:33

    Tolu, we are all on the journey to discover who we truly are. Just when I think I know for sure then i discover new things all over again.

    That journey ends when we live this kingdom. Thru God we really get to have a better understanding of whom we are and why we are here.

    When we finally get to be with our maker, it will all make perfect sense and all the questions will come to an end.

    What a great write-up and i love how you tie it up with Easter. Wishing you and everyone a happy Easter.


    • Tolu
      Apr 19, 2011 @ 18:05:48

      Sister mi , like i say everyday , God deliberately placed you in my life , because what do we have except that which is given to us by God. everyday i discover the new me , i pray to be all that God wants me to be.


  4. Jaycee (E.A)
    Apr 19, 2011 @ 16:15:00

    happy easter, Tolu. To me, knowing that God is with me is knowing that everything I do aligns with what His word says, and having the Holy Spirit inside me confirming things as life goes on. Not necessarily in one step, but in multiple steps along the way.


    • Tolu
      Apr 19, 2011 @ 18:07:16

      Jaycee, I love the way you put it , i don’t want to ever live in a vacuum , i need God to matter most in my life , i have not gotten there , it is a journey for me.
      Happy Easter, my sister , my friend.


  5. oghale eledu
    Apr 19, 2011 @ 20:50:44

    Very nice article,the journey to self discovery cannot be complete without a knowledge of Christ,His finished work and God’s word! May we be men and women who do not allow the world,its systems or personal experiences to define us! Well done!


  6. kim sisto robinson
    Apr 22, 2011 @ 16:52:27

    ~~~Oh, I didn’t know Oprah said that! So sad…since she is so influential for so many.
    Yes, WITHOUT GOD, nothing else matters. Nothing.
    I’ve been very, very angry at Him lately….questioning my purpose, Questioning why why why?
    SO many quesions. So many doubts.
    But I DO know this…. He lives. He resurrected. He is with me.
    This is our only hope.
    Great Post. xx


    • Tolu
      Apr 22, 2011 @ 17:01:37

      Kim, am so happy that you dropped by ,God bless you, we are never alone , we are surrounded a great cloud of witnesses. will love to read more comments from you in my new posts.
      Happy Easter


  7. Bol, The Desperate Naija Woman, Essien-Nelson
    May 22, 2011 @ 21:25:45

    I love the way you write Tolu. Its very ‘from the gut’, the depths of you and that talks to me. Thanks for inviting me here. I felt at home with your writing. Especially this one. As I read it it reminded me of one I have – Why I believe in God – I wrote it when I was dealing with some ‘strong’ issues and needed to ‘talk to myself’ and remind myself of who I was and why I was who I was……I shall subscribe to your blogs. Life is a series of mountain highs and valley lows…but God is with us through them all……..


    • Tolu
      May 23, 2011 @ 10:06:45

      Am so glad you came to check up the blog, am grateful. Like you ma, am still on the journey of self dicovery, I need God so much for this. Thank you ma and it will be a pleasure to have a copy of your new book.


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