Since I started this year , I have been sure about one thing in my life , I have been confident that God is too faithful , He can’t fail no matter how late it feels to me. His love is so obvious that I know He can’t let go of me because I am His special girl, this year I have decided on one single thing ;to let go of all the issues that threaten my existence and fear God immensely.
‘Fear of God’, this is a phrase , I certainly have an idea of its meaning but sadly not the truth ; ‘Is it cowering behind the shelves whenever I hear His voice; Is it by playing church every Sunday; Is it by acting nice to everyone I see and not speaking my mind; Is it by crying every time I am in His presence ‘’ , because these used to be what I felt ‘The fear of God is’’.
These days I have been having a change of heart by the Holy Spirit , the fear of God is loving God wholeheartedly , it is by living every second for Him, it’s by knowing that ‘’from Him comes all good things’’ , it is by thinking about Him every second even before I take any decision , it is by stopping being desperate.
This is the fear of God , this year I will be 26 years and these years have been full of good and bad times , and it is only worth living because of God. God is not just a religion I picked up from my parents , nor is He Someone I talk to whenever I feel like , He is my life , the reason why I live , the force behind my existence , He’s the only One that I talk to 24 hours a day and doesn’t get tired of listening to me.
He knows my form even before my parents dreamt of meeting , He proposed me as a female to be a wonderful helpmeet for that man that I have not yet met. He knows those nights when sleep take a walk from me , because of the thoughts that weigh heavily on my heart ,He sees when tears wet my pillows out of sheer exhaustion and He comforts me with His words and sometimes I really feel His strong arms gently rocking me to sleep with His thoughts on my mind.
Year after year , He sees my failed attempts at love , and He sits with me when I use my tears to form a puddle when I didn’t have my way and gently reminds me that ‘True love still exist’ ,I just need to stay still and let Him to finish His work on me , whenever He tells me this , my head literally swells with joy because I know if
He says it ,it is only a matter of time , it shall come to pass.
In this 26th year of my existence , I sure have lots of dreams , lots of battles , lots of habits to break away from , lots of places to go to , lots of things to do , but I choose to put them all on hold and fear God immensely because at the end of the day , He’s all that matters.