Faith rocks

For weeks now or maybe months , I have been going through what writers call ‘ Writer’s block’ , an imaginary barricade that stands between a writer and his ‘Muse’ . For me as a writer , this period of not being able to write takes hours , sometimes days but this time it took months and whatever block is standing in my way pose a serious threat to my ability as a writer.

 Have you ever heard of  ‘Utopia’ , this is a world of perfection , a world where things are fair and just , a world  where good things happen to good people , where wickedness does not exist , a world where  brave knights  go to any length to rescue their damsels , Utopia is this  world I escape to as a writer . This world for me is where I don’t get scared , where shadows don’t hang in the closet waiting to pounce when the lights go off , so to be locked out of this world , is to be denied of the perfection I desperately seek  , is to be left naked in the rain , is to be denied of everything that makes sense to me.

  Following the long delay by this ‘block’ , I packed my stuff and headed west , hoping to find peace , hoping to connect somehow to my muse , so home I went . Getting there sure did  not shift me back to my Utopia , it only brought my fear to fore , fear of being permanently locked out of this world , fear of being alone in this world of reality . The pain that this fear brings cripples almost everything around me , this pain blurs even the brightest day .

Early on Wednesday morning , as I sat on the wood near the flowers in my house , my attention drifted to a flower , I nicknamed ‘ Morning Flower’ , it has started to wilt , it’s usual vibrance is sadly absent , suddenly I thought in my heart that it does not matter whether ‘Morning flower ‘ blooms or wilt , it will always be ‘Morning flower’ to everyone that sees it. The wilting process is painful  , but it is compulsory for its growth , in this same light I suddenly saw myself , I may not be able to write now ,or for months , that does not make me  a non –writer because writing is who I am , it is what gives me joy , it is  how I  reach my world .

With this insight , I was frankly made to realise that it wasn’t my writing ability that was threatened , neither is it my world of perfection , what came under siege  was my faith. My faith took the first blow from insecurity and fear , it only took time for the rest of me to follow , of  things to lose in the world  , faith should be wisely excluded at all times.

 As a young Christian , I feel rather inadequate to talk or write about faith , but what I see as  faith is believing that no matter what happens to me , I will always be able to pick a pencil and write, maybe  I will even scribble some notes down when I meet my Creator at the Gate , faith to me is knowing that God is always with me even when I don’t feel His presence . Faith to me is knowing that no matter how deep I have gone in the issues of life , I will always be able to come out because I have a God that specialises in helping confused people , faith to me is believing that I will always be that warm , tender hearted , passionate woman I see in my dreams every night, to me that is faith.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. temiville
    Dec 21, 2010 @ 03:28:35

    My middle name is Faith…

    Never hold back. You have so much deposited in you. Remember the parable of the guy who buried his talent each time the devil wants to stop from speaking your heart.

    His grace is sufficient hun.

    PS: I’m loving your blog oh. Its 3:28am!!!


    • Tolu
      Dec 22, 2010 @ 22:18:43

      temi, thank you so much , you have to see in my chair right now ,faith is something we must constantly ask God to add everyday, without faith , life is meaningless


  2. Jennifer Abayowa (Jaycee)
    Dec 26, 2010 @ 22:21:10

    I love this post, especially the definition of your faith as knowing that you’ll always have the capacity to pick up your pen and write. May God continue to inspire and mature you as you perfect and hone your craft of writing. May God continue to bless you as you glorify Him through your writing. In Jesus’ Name. Amen 🙂


  3. Lara Daniels
    Jan 03, 2011 @ 08:14:58

    This article is not only for writers to relate to… I imagine a new christian reading this piece and feeling encouraged that it’s okay to face challenges that makes one question if God is with them or not. In your case, it was your writer’s block, but even then, you pushed on believing that God is with you in the midst of all that confusion and feelings of insecurity. This is a sincere piece at its finest, Tolu. Keep up the good work 🙂


    • Tolu
      Jan 03, 2011 @ 16:15:57

      lara, thanks so much , you know one thing i have discovered about faith and God;Never trust your feelings, have an unshakable belief in God’s word and its infallibility.


  4. yomichat
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 15:45:25

    nice write ups…thank God I know..they refreshing & makes u wana reconnect with EL…God bless your soul


  5. Tolu
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 16:03:41

    yomi , this is so thoughtful of you,thanks for checking , how is the marital life?


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